50 shades of grey poem by John Summers

BTW: Edit – I recievd an email from John Summers – he wrote this last year and its being wrongly creditied to Pam Ayers so if you see it anywhere could you please correct it . a friend added this to my arts forums – love the books and the poem made me snigger….


FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – (a husbands point of view)
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
… T’was “fifty shades of grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t*t!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!

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About jeanniezelos

I'm an avid reader, love my kindle and I have my head in a novel for hours daily : ) Mum used to say I'd read toilet paper if it was printed- it wasn't, so i had to contend myself with the back and sides of the cereal packets. I've always Needed to read and we had few books when i was a child hence my penchant for reading anything including adverts then... I review mainly contemporary, erotic and paranormal romance books though dystopian and urban fantasy also appeal. I'm currently rated around the 300 mark on amazon.co.uk for my reviews. I try to keep them structured and to say what I do and don't like about a book so other readers can use my review as a guide to whether they may enjoy the book.

3 responses to “50 shades of grey poem by John Summers”

  1. Betty Steele says :

    I am eighty and love this poem. So very funny. Thank you John Summers

  2. Valerie says :

    Does anyone have the correct bio, or wikipedia
    link to the John Summers, who wrote this very funny poem? Is he British? Thank you.

    • jeanniezelos says :

      Hi Valerie, I can’t find anything about him except references to this poem. Sadly I had a pc problem and stupidly didn’t save his email address….This poem makes me smile every time I read it, and clearly hits a chord with many others.

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